Regardless of how much in love you are, just about every couple falls into a predictable, eventually boring, pattern of doing the same things all the time. This is an inevitable thing when you spend so much time with someone, but it can make many couple wonder if there’s something wrong with the relationship.
Most of the time, however, all couples need is a small change in routine to keep things interesting.
“There’s an old saying along the lines of, ‘If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got,’” says Lisa Daily, author of Stop Getting Dumped! “If you can’t stand the thought of another football game, or another weekend of cuddling up to pizza and DVDs, then come up with something else to do.”
1. Do Things The “Wrong” Way
Yes, you normally need 7 to 8 hours of rest on a work night. But who’s to say that, occasionally, you can’t go to a club and stay out ‘til 2am…on a Wedesday? There’s something about rebelling a little that can instantly alleviate tedium — plus it can be a bonding experience for couples.
So if you think your relationship has been weighed down, ask yourself, “What do I really want to do?” and follow your impulses with your beloved. Go ahead and make ice cream sundaes for dinner! As long as your actions aren’t illegal or harming anyone, these moments will remind you that your love life can take some interesting twists and turns once you stop caring so much about doing things the “right” way.
2. Get Out of Town
Busy schedules can force couples into almost unpleasant, fast-paced ruts where they zoom right past each other. When this happens, agree to take a little break together to catch your breath, let time slow down, and remind yourselves of the fact that you never have to stop getting to know each other.
“Sometimes it feels like the world will stop spinning if we stop what we’re doing for one minute,” says Daily. “The truth is, it won’t. Life will go on, even if you take a few hours off.” Even if you don’t have an entire weekend for uninterrupted “us” time, take little time-outs to recharge your romance on a regular basis.
Daily suggests setting an unbreakable lunch or dinner date every week — mark your calendar, if necessary. Or substitute separate workouts at the gym to take a long walk or hike together — you may be surprised where your conversation leads or what new tidbit you find out about your partner!
3. Embrace The Unexpected
Surprises are the cornerstone of keeping a relationship interesting because they show your sweetie that you don’t take anything for granted — and that there’s more to you than meets the eye!
So keep an eye out for any opportunity: If your sweetie mentions a play he or she wants to see, buy tickets on the sly and slip them in a pocket or purse with a note saying “You, me, and a comedy club on Saturday?” Or, just tell your sweetie to keep a certain date clear for you — then don’t explain what you’re doing. The anticipation will keep your honey wondering all week what it could be and add extra zing to your plans, whether it’s reservations at a new restaurant, a night camping in your back yard, or going back to the place where you shared your first kiss.
What you’ve planned doesn’t really matter — when it comes to surprises, it’s truly the thought that counts.
4. Dream About The Future…Together
Do the two of you want to own a home one day? Maybe start a business? Even if you’re not quite ready to take that leap, talking and dreaming about the future can not only bring you closer together, but can bring you even the smallest step closer to realizing those dreams.
A relationship that’s static can definitely feel stagnant, but that’s easily fixed by setting some goals together. Just ask yourself (and your partner) about what something you dream about doing. Then do something small, such as window-shopping for a home, or playing with puppies in a pet store even though you’re not prepared to take one home yet. Do anything that keeps you in touch with that dream.
Even new couples can adopt a sense of direction. Maybe you both fantasize about flying to Cancun for a long weekend on the beach. Try browsing guidebooks together or set up a “Cancun Fund” where you each contribute $20 per paycheck. “Even if your big plan is very far away, taking baby steps together can bring you closer to your goal,” says Daily. “And to each other.”
Following the above tips, as well as coming up with a few of your own, can help you grow closer to your partner – as well as feel more fulfilled and happy in your own life.
By Lorraine Jones, BDO Staff Writer
29 Mar 2011 , Copyright © 2005-2011, BlackDoctor.org. All rights reserved.
